Another reason I <3 Aaron Sorkin and Co.

Arnold Vinick = John McCain 2000

Matthew Santos = Barack Obama 2004.

Yes we can. . . check out the story.

Why The D Feels Like It's On Its Own, Business-Wise

Behold the contrasting timelines:

Wednesday: What the Hell did AIG do with $123 billion in less than two months?!

Thursday: AIG scores another $21 billion.

Then:

Thursday: Detroit is the new Beirut, the auto industry could use some help.

Friday: Treasury to auto industry (and The D): Drop dead.

Now the bank is closed? WTF?

I'm thinking if Michigan was a bit more of a toss-up in the election, we might get a bit more consideration from the feds.

Think New Orleans and Katrina.

You Can Take the Boy Out of Detroit...

Talented guy from the Seaholm 'hood (south Birmingham is rougher, y'know), Mike Binder, has scored a new sitcom deal at Fox. The theme of Two Dollar Beer?

"The setting is Detroit, where a group of young adults weather the worsening economy but refuse to move away from their hometown."

We could claim that Mike's wearing out an old cliche if (1) he wasn't from here, so he knows, and (2) it wasn't true.

Now, go scrape together some collectible cans and rent The Upside of Anger.

Election Polling Survival Kit

To help keep you from losing it over the weekend:

FiveThirtyEight

Pollster

Zogby

Real Clear Politics

If you need to chill, here's some bubble wrap.

If that doesn't work, figure out your plan if Gramps and Moose Mom pull it off.

Enjoy, and good luck.

Red State Sociology Without Mentioning "Wal-Mart" or "NASCAR"

The NYT goes all Margaret Mead today, chronicling the cultural differences between red and blue Democratic and Republican political rallies.

Apparently, according to the piece, a popular GOP event soundtrack artist is AC/DC.

If they're elected, are we hitting the "Highway to Hell?"

And, really, can't you feel the electricity? ^

Adventures in Lyrics: Team McCain's New Soundtrack

"'Cause you're hot then you're cold /
You're yes then you're no /
You're in and you're out /
You're up and you're down"


Hot N Cold

Time to Vote, But Check Your Registration First

Before you interact with any voting official, you should first check the validity of your voter registration at Publius.

As The Gipper said: trust, but verify.

< < God, when I was little, I loved helping my grandmother vote in these machines.

Who Needs an Infomercial When You Can Score a Sitcom?

One's had the job they each always wanted.

Now the other one wants it, too!

Hijinks ensue!

New from the CW: Barry and Bubba!

Non Sequitur of the Day

"Love will tear us apart /

Again."

"Sarah Oh-Twelve!"

Thus spake a supporter of Moose Mom yesterday.

Some senior McCainiacs also have called her a "whack job." Ironically, Larry Flynt has been thinking the same thing.

And now the cool kids on the bus -- led by McNasty -- are apparently ignoring the new, well-dressed, hot exchange student girl from Alaska.

It's all so very mavericky.

Cheers to Pullin' for Plain for the outstanding Photoshopping; click, if you dare.

Manager of the Rays Dressed to Bwast Screwy Wabbit

The sports fan in me would typically be bumming that the World Series is currently in scheduling purgatory.

But when you actually have team-issued cold weather baseball caps with ear flaps, and make your two best teams play in weather that makes them look like a drowned rat, my degree of bummertude plunges to pretty much zero.

And it can potentially get worse next year.

Boys of Summer, indeed.

Non Sequitur of the Day

"Legacy."

BTW, I'd cut this article out of its paper, but pretty soon, you won't be able to.

Bummer.

Skinhead Assassination Suspects Think Tuxedo is Spelled with a "k" and a "z"

<== These McCain supporters clowns, if they don't do serious time for their ludicrous but potentially horrific plan, should be sentenced separately, on principle, to do bigger time for being such enormous dumbasses.

Even the Aussies think the plan is so over the top to possibly be a prank.

Interestingly enough, I recently had a chat with someone who suggested that all voters should be at least 25 years of age and a high school graduate. I think this person thought that the plan would affect Obama more than Gramps. Should they review the following clips, I suspect they might want to re-think their calculus:





This isn't the shallow end of the gene pool, it's the pond scum on top of the cover of the shallow end of the gene pool.

Somewhere, Charles Darwin spins in his grave.

Unfortunately, I Was Probably Right

Gramps has been trying to make hay about Biden's comment that the country would be tested at the beginning of an Obama administration, and he says, no, that he's mere presence would prevent that crisis prompt him to pro-actively create one.

Last week, I said that not to prepare for the worst is stupd, based on the challenges faced at the beginning of the last two administrations.

And, now, grown-ups paid to figure this stuff out say, I was right.

Yea!

I think.

Today's Adventures in Etymology

"Cougar."




Perhaps it was because the God-awful jerseys at the time blinded them.

Non Sequitur of the Day

"I can make Michigan bounce."

Check it out at 3:00 left:

Gramps' Circular Firing Squad Is Taking Aim

The rats are abandoning the SS Angry Old Clueless White Guy, according to Politico.

And NYT takes the first long look at the anatomy of a train snow machine wreck.

Meanwhile, Barack is on a "red state tour."

If Obama wins, he better remember to send flowers to Howard Dean who had the vision and balls to push the Fifty State Strategy.

Gary Peters Must Beat Joe Knollenberg in MI-9 -- Pleeeze

The YouTube video below already broke down a Knollenberg ad that was particularly egregious in its lies, and which I wanted to highlight for ridicule, so, thanks to the poster.

For instance, the supposed Cleveland Plain Dealer article where Barack Obama allegedly calls Gary Peters' health plan "too extreme?"

WTF? Why would the Plain Dealer on October 10 write about Peters? Because it didn't... do the search.

At worst, the race is a toss-up or Peters is up within the margin of error; at best, Joe is a goner.

God, I'd be glad to see this clown gone.

While the Bucs Watch the Rays, do the Eagles Boo the Phillies?

If a World Series game is played in the forest, does it make a noise?

Perhaps. But if it's played in the rain on a Saturday night, and starts 91 minutes late from an already late starting time of 8:00 EDT, it doesn't make ratings.

Too bad. The games have been entertaining. Let's hope for seven.

P.S. It's remarkable how the NFL always seems to take this Sunday night off every year, when the World Series is on. How possibly violative of anti-trust laws kind and courteous of MLB.

"Toilet" Joe Knollenberg Is Circling the Drain . . .

... at least if the newspaper endorsements have anything to do with it: the Free Press and the O&E endorse Gary Peters.

BTW, if you feel like prematurely piling on, you should check out Vote No on Joe.

There Is a Sepcial Place in Hell for Brian Blakeman

MSNBC's resident Wingnut yesterday called Barack out for using his campaign plane "to visit grandma."

Clearly, this clowns's not had a special, nurturing grandmother figure in his life die after an illness, because his egg hatched under a rock.

Behold the psychosis at the 3:00 mark:

(Penta)starlight (Not) So Bright

Chrysler's cutting a full quarter of their white collar employees.

As a native Detroiter and resident, my reasoned, insightful analysis goes like this:

Oh, crap.

Sounds like a slimming down in preparation for being swallowed.

Somewhere, Tawana Brawley and the Runaway Bride are Smiling

Did you hear about the alleged attack in Pittsburgh on a 20-year-old female supporter of Gramps, supposedly because she had a McCain sticker on her car?

Even if you haven't heard it, would I even need to tell you the races of the two parties in this incident fairly tale?

The moment it was related to me, I thought it was b.s.

Aaaaand....Yes! Why, the young lady made it up.

The B that was supposedly carved into her check (above) was backwards! So, she either did it herself in the mirror, or the would-be Willie Horton was channeling Leonardo daVinci.

Shocking.

Usually reliable Wingnut Michelle Malkin never believed her, not for a second.

And the head of Faux News said that if it was a hoax, then Gramps's campaign would be toast.

Fingers crossed.

P.S. I hope that linking to Malkin doesn't cause your monitor screen burst into flames.

Adventures in Music: VPILF's Shopping Spree Soundtrack is "Fashion" by Bowie

"We are the goon squad /

And we're coming to town /

Beep-beep."

Playing with Your Food As a Political Statement

To make a statement next week with your Barack O'Lantern [sic],
you can get neat stencils from Yes We Carve.

Now, kids, no fancy schmancy knives from Neiman's,
even if Caribou Barbie shares her clothes return credit wit ya.

An Early Freeze Means an Early Political Spring

The Salt Lake Tribune has endorsed Barack Obama for President.

And the Great Salt Lake has frozen over.

In a related story, the Oakland Press has endorsed Gary Peters for Congress in my district, MI-9, over incumbent "Toilet" Joe Knollenberg. >>

Similarly, Quarton Lake has, too, just frozen over.

Mmmm, is that a realignment I'm smelling?

Non Sequitur of the Day

"Making plans for Nigel."

Toronto Needs Another NHL Team and Gary Bettman Sucks, Still

I love the city of Toronto and many people who live there. Also, any reason to read Eric Duhatschek on hockey is a good thing. So it was interesting to read that one of his long-time pet topics has quietly bubbled to life in the NHL: a second team for the Toronto area.

There's a couple of things going on here:

• Toronto's is North America's fifth largest market and could support three NHL teams, let alone two;

• The six Canadian teams (v. 24 in the U.S.) comprise 31% of the league's ticket revenues, the league's primary income source;

• The NHL owes an enormous make-good to Blackberry inventor Jim Balsillie for tortiously interfering with discouraging his attempt to buy the Predators last year, perhaps to move them to Hamilton.

So, with three markets lined up for teams -- Toronto, Kansas City (with a building ready and waiting) and Las Vegas -- and probably not wanting to add more than two teams (to total 32), do you move one or three franchises, or extort suckers sell two new franchises for upwards of $700M U.S.?

BTW, Torontonians: instead of cramming another team in the Air Canada Centre, why not put them in the Skydome Rogers Centre? You could sell out that huge building every game.

It's all very Gary Bettman-like: I shall hold you in contempt, Canada, until I require your new check cheque with many zeroes:

VPILF Channels Pretty Woman

So the Republicans have bought Moose Mom more than $150,000 in clothes to get her up to snuff for Gramps and the rest of "Real America."

$70K+ at Neiman's?!?! WTF?!?! Who's the cultural elite now?

I imagine the so-called Joe the Plumber Six-Pack and Packette crowd might be a wee bit chagrined, in light of our current financial climate, to find out that this is pricey show biz, baby.

Honest, when VPILF did the toss out of "Weekend Update" on SNL, it truly looked and sounded like she felt back home behind an anchor desk, missing doing the sports scores in Alasaka.

Speaking of which, let us recall a famous fish out of water woman who was similarly comped à la mode:

Non Sequitur of the Day

"It's only teenage wasteland."



The Who play Detroit tonight.

I love The Who.

And now, one of the best album covers ever:


That is all.

Do Know Much 'Bout History

Did Joe Biden truly make a gaffe, saying that the new president -- perhaps he specifically meant Obama, perhaps not -- would be tested in his first six months?

Well, let's look at the record:

World Trade Center garage bombing by Al Qaeda: 37 days after Bubba took office.

9/11: 8 months, 22 days, after W was sworn in.

Even Darth Vader Dick Cheney said: "Another attack is a matter not of if, but when."

The true gaffe would be if candidates weren't thinking that. It's just that reality these days is oftentimes far too scary for the masses, or the MSM, to digest.

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

You Mean Brett Favre Deigns to Even Speak to the Lions?

I swear, if the Detroit Lions were given the secret recipe to a hot fudge sundae, they'd screw it up, regardless of whether Brett Fah-vu-ruh went all double agent and stuff.

Reverse Splitting Up Is Hard To Do

Sirius-XM is looking at doing a reverse split.

In the words of noted financial analyst Rocket J. Squirrel, that trick never rarely works.

Milestones in a Vacuum

Post #200 hit yesterday, I just noticed.

Many, many thanks to my tens of readers.

In today's bonus exercise in futility: Go Blue!

VPILF: Meta Overload

Is it possible -- or does anyone really care -- if you belatedly agree to start laughing at yourself after everyone is already laughing, not with you, but at you?

Regardless, if Moose Mom does show up on SNL tonight, the meta dial definitely will be cranked to 11.

And now (per Kit's request), the SNL 2008 wingnut retrospective:

Gramps breaks the ice last Spring:



VPILF 1:



VPILF 2:



VPILF 3:

Definitely Not the Same Old Song (OT)

RIP Levi Stubbs:



And, Billy Bragg's "Levi Stubbs' Tears" . . . and ours:



"Feed me, Seymour."

Added 10/18/08: The thoughts of the Yoda of Detroit music writers, Dave Marsh, from his Rock & Rap Confidential:

SOMETHING ABOUT YOU…When I was 15, I met the Four Tops on a downtown Detroit street, where they were doing a photo shoot with the Supremes. The group—especially Duke Fakir—were extraordinarily kind to a trio of white kids totally out of their element. I love the Four Tops for that, but I would have loved them anyway. They are the voice of adolescent angst and adult heartbreak, the pure, the absolute joy that humans can take in one another. Call them love songs –I’d say it was more like lifelines—but call them silly and you’ve branded yourself as a fool.

Phil Spector once said that “Bernadette” was a black man singing Bob Dylan. The name of that black man was Levi Stubbs. And for those of you who are Bruce Springsteen fans, go find the Tops greatest album, The Four Tops Second Album, and listen to “Love Feels Like Fire” and “Helpless,” two of my alltime Motown tracks (and they weren’t even singles). You’ll feel the same thing. Those crazed sax breaks are as close to free jazz as Motown ever let itself come, and they got away with it there solely because the Tops were such a perfect machine with the most powerful voice of its time at the fore. I could never figure out whether Levi was the toughest or the tenderest singer at Motown, so I finally accepted that he was both.

Yeah, a lot of the Tops is formula Holland Dozier Holland. Sometimes even I think it’s the Supremes when the intro to “It’s the Same Old Song” or “Something About You” comes on. So what? To begin with, HDH created the greatest formula in the history of rock and soul. Now: Go listen again to “Reach Out” and see if you can think of a Supremes record that could grab you in the gut that way. It’s the “Like a Rolling Stone” of soul—with a flute and hand percussion leading the way! The group always got Eddie Holland’s greatest lyrics (and he the most under-rated lyricist of the ‘60s) and that’s one.

They got those songs because Levi could sing the most impossible stuff. Any other soul singer I know would have insisted on editing. The great, long, image rich lines in “Bermandette” and “Ask the Lonely” were too long, that they needed more space to really sing. Not Levi. He charged into those words and wrestled everything out of them, and somehow, he sounded graceful as he did. “Loving you has made my life sweeter than ever” is so multisyllabic that they had to shorten it for the title: “Loving You Is Sweeter Than Ever” fit the label better, I guess.

The Tops got away with that as a group because they knew how to work with such vocal intricacy. By the time they had their first Motown hit they’d already been together for ten years. Duke told me recently that their earlier sojourn at Columbia Records in the late ‘50s came after a brief appearance at the Apollo. The talent scout who signed them was John Hammond—the same guy who found Bob, Bruce, and Aretha. That’s the company the Four Tops, and Levi Stubbs, in particular belong in. Who else could turn “Walk Away Renee” into soul music? Who else could get away with “7 Rooms of Gloom” as a love song without a hint of irony, let alone comedy?

I will testify. Levi and the Tops were among the graces of my own soul. When I get nervous before an interview, I always remember how kind those guys were to that 15 year old kid, and I feel beyond harm. When I listen to “The Same Old Song,” I remember once again the sweetness of sour. “Bernadette” calls to my mind the futility of believing you’re in control, and how easy it is to confuse passion with obsession. “Reach Out” is simply as colossal an extravaganza as rock and soul music have ever produced, as monumental in its way as “Like a Rolling Stone.” The focal point of all that musical gingerbread and the mighty Funk Brothers is not the group—it’s one man, Levi Stubbs, pushed not to his limit but way past it. But there’s not a hint—not a second—where Levi Stubbs sounds like anything but a guy from down the street, across the way or in your mirror. Imagine a Pavarotti on the corner. There he is. All of it helped, somehow, make my own life possible.

This is no case of “Shake Me, Wake Me (When It’s Over).” Levi Stubbs was 72 years old. He hadn’t been in good health for several years. This isn’t Marvin Gaye or David Ruffin or Tammi Terrell. This is a man who made his full contribution to our culture, our lives. That doesn’t make it all that much easier to hear the word.

At the Tops’ golden anniversary show in Detroit several years ago, he sang from a wheelchair. “There wasn’t a dry eye in the house,” his friend and attorney, Judy Tint, told me this afternoon.

Ain’t any in this house today, either.--Dave Marsh

www.rockrap.com

Two Team Two Timing VPILF

Since Moose Mom reads every newspaper in the entire universe, she must be so overwhelmed as to not notice that if you say the same thing pandering b.s. applause line in Florida and New Hampshire, to the fans of opposing teams, people will notice.

And those people fans will get pissed.

Gramps Rethinks Abandoning Michigan, Adopts New Imaging

Post-debate, Gramps adopts a new vibe:

His apparent inspiration:

However, here's the end of the night, after he didn't get to the chilled Ensure and green M&M's in the Green Room:

Holy Toledo Rock(et)s!

Dear Joe the Plumber:

Congrats on the Rockets beating U-M last weekend.

However, based on what I've heard about you via the lapdog, lemming-like MSM, you're a xenophobic dumbass who's full of crap.

Perhaps we'll meet up one day at Tony Packo's.

Go Rockets!

Adventures in Etymology: Failing at Having Enough Time to Say "Failure"

Apparently, the two syllables of "failure" are just too long and demanding to say completely these days.

"Fail" is now a noun.

Perhaps it has something to do with the "revelations" on reality shows now being called "reveals."

Somewhere, William Safire is rolling around in his grave cubicle.

Non Sequitur of the Day

"Orwellian."

(And here's some background.)

Adventures in Shorthand Political ID's

Sarah Palin = Gov. Jesse "The Body" Ventura + Phyllis Schlafly + Don Cherry + pencil skirts

Non Sequiturs of the Day

"Fight."




Bonus word: "Mendacity."

Bonus word #2: "Blowback."

Discuss.

W: Still Just a Privileged Frat Boy, Cribbing Off Someone Else's Paper

After weeks of false starts driven by discredited conservative ideology and straight-up GOP political whoring, the U.S. now realizes that this Euro-socialism thing might actually work here, and adopts the U.K.'s approach of direct equity investment in its private banks.

"Wudgu git on #1 there, Gordie?" >>

Today, we are all Swedes.

It Was 48 Years Ago Today

That JFK proposed the idea (sort of) for the Peace Corps, in the middle of the night on the steps of the Michigan Union in Ann Arbor.

Pretty cool, eh?

One year of an underperforming football team definitely does not define us Wolverines. Go Blue.

Non Sequitur of the Day ?

.. of the day week month year decade century:

"Money /

That's what I want"

"Norbert, Norbit, Let's Call the Whole Thing Off"

As I write this, Hurricane Norbert is doing great damage to Mexico.

Somewhere, Eddie Murphy cringes, thinking of his own greatly damaging Norbert Norbit, and sheds a tear.

But at least he's dressed properly -- surf's up! >>

MSNBC In The Tank? There Must Be Dual Tanks

Anyone who says that liberal MSM enormous defense contractor GE's cable news network MSNBC, with Olbermann and Maddow, is "in the tank" for Barack Obama, please remind said person to shake off their pork rind hangover and get their butts up for former wingnut Republican congressman Joe Scarborough's morning drive show.

How he can speak with that teeny, tiny piehole, I have no idea.

Nobel Gets Real

Whatever you think of Paul Krugman and his positions, anything that makes Americans pay more attention to the real world intersection of their lives and economics -- like giving Krugman the Nobel Prize in Economics -- is only a good thing.

And, no, it's not because Mr. Nobel's dynamite just blew up the global economy.

Read the article.

In The D, Size Does Matter

While a GM-Chrysler deal may be a good thing, the sad part if it goes through is that they wouldn't be big enough anymore to trigger anti-trust scrutiny.

*sigh*

Senator McCain, Meet Pandora's Box

Once you give tacit explicit approval to hate speech as a political tactic -- to blame a minority for the normal peoples' problems -- it's hard to stop the shock troops.

Behold, my friends, the beginning:



And yesterday:



Such a desperate hypocrite.

Not the Best Week Ever

Slate nicely gets to the point: "Worst. Week. Ever."

And WaPo checks in on my backyard, about 312 weeks late, stating the obvious.

My friend Nancy has a point about WaPo's piece: the MSM using "Detroit" and the "auto industry" as synonyms is so incorrect, annoying and wrong.

Alaskan Pronunciation of "maverick"

We thought Moose Mom was saying she was a "maverick."

Turns out it's the accent. She was really saying she's a "political hack."

Oh, and a hypocrite, too.

Some Hockey Moms Are Pissed, Moose Mom

Hockey moms are already exhausted, super-busy, and need a break.

They certainly don't need another mom forcing them to give her a ride without pitching in for gas (so to speak).

And, now, some are letting their feelings be known.

And, no, no pitbull's allowed in the minivan, Sarah.

The Heels Are On, Baby!

"Those 18 million cracks in the glass ceiling, girls? If you use them to check your highlights, and act like a racist, classist, anti-intellecutal toady for old white men who want to keep our country divided, you too can be a governor! Or run for VeePee"

And as for these being indecent pictures? Come on, those guys are harmless -- they're wearing pink! Right, Red Staters?

Methinks the writer needs either a Xanax, a date, or a Cinemax subscription.

Ahhh, to Once Have Been Young, Educated and Republican

David Brooks today continued reacquainting himself with academically-supported rationality, bemoaning the post-intellectual ugliness that is Team Moose Mom, and the damage it does to the GOP.

Meanwhile, closer to home, the best of Michigan's old-fashioned effete Georgetown Traverse City retailer Republicans, Gov. Bill Milliken, eased away from his primary endorsement of Gramps.

Too bad we don't have lots of Bill Milliken types in politics public service anymore, regardless of party.

Problem with his party is, you lay with dogs moose, you get up with fleas.

It's Time for Us to Open Our Windows and Start Yelling

Randi Rhodes opened her show yesterday with the classic bit below.

To create such a timelessly relevant, quintessentially American piece of work in 1976, Paddy Chayefsky was a genius.

And now, my friends, the patron saint of 60SecondBlog.com, Mr. Howard Beale:

Obmemea (c): Why Take On Your Party When It's Right?

"Senator McCain says I've never taken on my party like he's taken on his.

Well, when he takes on his party, he comes over to work with my party.

So, if my party is right more often than his party, why should I go over his?

Conflict for the sake of conflict is the old way.

Let's embrace a new way.

I'm Barack Obama, and I support this message."