Saturday, January 19, 2008

Non Sequitur of the Day: #25


Today's Lesson: Why "Red State" Folks Sometimes Don't "Get" "Blue State" Folks

I saw this bumper sticker today. I imagine a fanboy was driving, but my shock/bemusement prevented me from checking.

Now, I know the LOTR trilogy grossed more than $1B, much of that in "Red States," Podnuh. And, personally, I've never read or seen the trilogy, so I can't explain the reference, but I'm sure the sticker applier could do a good half-hour on it, easily. But as a geek myself in so many other areas, I can recognize that it's this kind of out-of-left-field cultural/political connect the dots that makes us book-learned "Blue Staters" appear fuhrrin foreign to "NASCAR Dad" types.

So, Lefties? Keep your eye on the ball, at least until after the election.

Friday, January 11, 2008

W's Adventures in Cultural Grooming

"You fellers got the right color clothes. If y'all gotcherselves a good shave, mebbe I could get you a job in Covert Ops with Blackwater. "

W's Middle East ROAD TRIP! DUDE!

Like a seventh-year undergrad DKE trying turn his paper in on time -- a persona hard-wired into his history and his being -- President Bush trying to broker peace in the Middle East, is, I'm thinking, like Britney Spears giving parenting classes.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Change? Change is coins in your pocket.

When I hear the MSM meme of voters wanting change, it puts me in the mind of one of radio programming's favorite mean-nothing word: "variety." Look what "variety" ultimately brought us: Variety Hits, aka Jack or Bob or some other generic white suburban guy's name. Or, as I like to call it, "Desperate Programming Lacking Thought." See, when you hear a word that you can't clearly put your finger on, it's usually a distraction. It's covering up for other words that have too much of an edge to appeal to consumers voters, like "anger,
"desperation," and "frustration." Americans only enjoy buying stuff they want, not stuff they need. Hence, "change."

Vaya con Dios, New Hampshire. It's been a long time since "Live Free or Die" meant as much in your primary.

Non Sequitur of the Day: #22

"A girl in trouble is a temporary permanent(?) thing."

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Non Sequitur of the Day: #20


U-M Football Hire: Told Ya!

Michigan wasn't going to hire Les Miles, and they were going to bring a quality coach up and teach him all the "Michigan Man" culture stuff. Mission accomplished. But, Rich, I'm warning you: no mix 'n' match or monochrome uniform funny business like you did at West Virginia, or you'll be sleeping with the fishes, like the guy who came up with the late, great stadium halo.

Why Obama Wins Iowa? Easy as 1-2-3

1. I'd like to think that voters can tell if a presidential candidate is, aptitude-wise, in over his or his or her head, though that's not necessarily the actual case. However, Obama is clearly a smart and articulate family guy with the right policies who appears to be someone who would actually hire good people to run government who don't hate government, instead of the cronies who were supposed to be W's "grown-ups" to prop him up. And, as a recent state legislator, he's got the same "outside the Beltway" vibe as the governors we like to elect as president.

2. Though some think that Billary reaped some serious Schadenfreude with their patented Triangulation and their too-late re-branding hoo-ha of "experienced enough to change," methinks the Iowans tapped into a national zeitgeist that is not proprietary to Democrats, but belongs to anyone but the most craven, politically motivated Republican wingnut. They, and we, just don't want anymore culture clashes like the one that ended in Bubba's impeachment -- and that's not Hillary's fault that she's the hunted, it's the hunters' fault.

3. Just look at the man. President Barack Hussein Obama, a man of color, of two continents, would tell the world -- especially the Muslim and African third world countries which are terrorist petri dishes -- that America is confident enough to be back in the business of winning allies via their hearts and minds, and not by humongously botching a real-life game of Risk.

It's just too bad I can't vote for him in the Michigan primary. For me, it looks like another mischief-making McCain vote again, with a shout out to Big John Engler, Michigan's original Fat Bastard.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Chomp on This, Gator Bitches

Admittedly, I was worried about Florida, too. The ESPN poll had, like, 91% of the online voters picking the Gators in what was essentially a road game for U-M. And, yes, this was a healthy Michigan team that lost their first two games with various degrees of ignominy. Yet, an experienced, (FINALLY!) healthy Wolverine team was able to deliver in the Capital One Bowl when it needed to make a statement for history, one I'm sure they think more accurate and relevant than App State. Take away the two turnovers at the goal line, there could have been an extra 21-point swing to Michigan. Yet, watching today's Wolverine offense makes me wonder what such potent offensive abandon, applied season-long would have yielded for this team. Despite his regularly annoying underachieving, Lloyd Carr's bowl record against the "awesome" SEC? 5-2. Go Blue.