Sunday, August 31, 2008

Identity Politics: Maverick






Her... pre-nomination. And from AP!


Saturday, August 30, 2008

W & Gramps: Co-Dependents

Pathetic story @ LAT about how they so desperately need each other.

If McCain was honorable, he'd tell all those wingnuts who signed on with Bush's slanders of him in 2000 to go to hell... which is where they think we're going anyway.

In the meantime, the inevitable endorsement has finally happened:

Cheers to Dan Kurtzman @

McCain Hates Our Troops and their Families

So sez Veterans for Common Sense.

And Crooks and Liars.

Facts is facts.

Maybe McBush can donate an extra one of Cindy's houses to the VA.

Obama Gets a Sweet Bounce

So sez Gallup: 8 points overnight.

VPILF, the Next Day

* Is the Sarah Palin pick a latter-day Bork? As a hard-core ideologue, is her very being a code word to the righty wingnuts? Is it dog whistle politics, something that rational humans can't hear?

* I better not hear any more "Obama is unprepared" ads, or it will be finally clear that "maverick" is a synonym for "unhinged."

^ "Say 'ello to my liddle fren. I whacked 'im in da primaries."

* If this national election thing doesn't work out, there's always guest hosting Bassmasters.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Somewhere, Monty Python Sheds a Tear

Lurve this Palin:

Not this Palin:

This parrot campaign is dead:

Ahh, those who forget history...

McCain-Palin, meet Dole-Kemp.

And over here, Geraldine Ferraro.

And finally, your book buddy this semester, Dan Quayle.

I cannot wait for the debates.

McCain's Ulterior Motive?

My friends, Governor Sarah Palin is a past pageant girl, cougariffic, anti-choice, packs heat and wears fur, so she's no Democratic namby-pamby. Hell, she's a POW's (of a certain age) dream girl. So, I'm thinking, if this election thing doesn't work out, Cindy might want to watch her back -- Gramps scores some alimony, and Wife #3 might be on deck.

Hey, it's been done before.

McBush as Dean Wormer

Then: "Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son."

Now: "Cranky, cynical and warmongering is no way to run a campaign, Senator."

Today's Obmemea: New Problems, Old Ways

"If everything is changing,

If everything changed after 9/11

If our energy demands and priorities are changing

If the world economy, like in China, is changing

Why elect someone mired in the old ways?

I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message."

Remember when Republicans Used "Wag the Dog" as a Talking Point in Kosovo?

Yes, Putin is a bad guy, and it's no surprise the Bushies are shocked, shocked, that anyone would think they're capable of instigating a war for domestic political purposes.

But, really, if a movie can think it up, couldn't that gang?

McCain is "Pricky" -- No!

No, Time magazine, I had no idea Gramps was prickly. Really?

And the fallout commences.

Perhaps Pawlenty's mullet will fix things today.

Non Sequitur of the Day

The one goes out to Sen. John McCain McBush Gramps:

"Closing time /
Every new beginning comes from /
Some other beginning's end."

Slacker Holiday: A Re-post -- How I got 89X Started (OT)

A high school friend who was living out of town when we started 89x asked me to re-post here my "how it started" blog post that's been over at MySpace, written pre-here. So, voila. Enjoy.
I have long wanted to commit to words the story of how 89X came to life, and was close last fall when my dear friend, Lem Payne, died. I believe that 89X is the last great Detroit radio story. Corporate consolidation and rampant over-paying for signals fostered the decades of no creativity in the industry since Lee Abrams created AOR and Fred Jacobs applied his take to it to create Classic Rock. Yet, the 89X story gives hope that radio (or any medium) can occasionally get it right when the audience's need matches up with the content provider's desperation to get something, anything, right, for a change. (Like ABC a few years ago with "Desperate Housewives" and "Lost.") The chief reason for my not writing this for so long as been that there are so many threads to the story, I just didn't want to deal with putting them together. It was an awesome experience, but in the end became a bit unfulfilling for me personally. But this thread, and the nice comments that have been posted – even about me! -- have been the tipping point. So here goes. Though necessary pieces were in place before I got involved, 89X started with me meeting two guys who would become my two partners and co-founders of 89X -- Greg St. James and Lem Payne -- and putting them together. I met Greg sometime in 1988-9 at various local music awards meetings, which I was invited to as a result of my writing for the Metro Times. Greg got invited due to his then doing 10P-2A at WRIF. A recurring theme then of the "Word of Mouth" column I was co-writing with Stewart Francke was the sad state of Detroit radio. In chatting with Greg, who was living in Grosse Pointe Woods (where I grew up), we discussed how things could get better. (By that time I was newly-married to the Lovely Dawna and had moved to Royal Oak.) I did some small legal work for him (I was then, and still am, an attorney in private practice, doing media, business, family and estate planning law), which allowed us to talk radio and brainstorm. Greg mentioned that he had some years before developed a format concept with Mike Halloran, Detroit ex-pat who by that time had achieved great success with 91X in San Diego, but that he'd tossed it into a drawer. Could I help him sell it? I loved the idea, liked Greg, and we started working together. Greg and Mike had called the format concept "8OR," for eighties oriented rock. Essentially, "eight-oh-are" became first-generation alternative (not yet Capital A, proper format name Alternative), the template for 89X, probably closer in spirit to WABX than what the format has evolved into. Probably around late '89 or early '90, Greg got a call from Al Pervin, who was the GM of what was then "Laser Rock 88.7 FM, CJOM" (I always loved that the guy who founded the chain before CHUM bought them named all his stations "OM" because he was into yoga and TM.) The station did not register in the Detroit ratings -- an asterisk. Fetuses, in theory, were tuning out. So, Al called Greg pitching him the idea of doing a morning show for their format, which we now know as Hot AC, but on CDs! Ooooh! Wow! Greg, having what was essentially a job for life at Riff with Greater Media, was wary of making the "upgrade" to mornings at an unknown station with a sucky format. So, we discussed, he passed. But he countered to Pervin that he would do mornings if they'd flip to the 8OR format that he'd created. That's where the idea for 89X took seed. Pervin was a Canadian citizen who wanted to make a splash in the CHUM chain and in the market, with an eye (I think) toward becoming a US citizen. Al was a sales guy, but he, too, could see the market that we saw was being under-served, if not flat-out ignored: people who went to college in the eighties. Many college-educated people who were married and buying houses ( me), and who had watched Clash and DEVO videos for years on MTV, were wondering why they couldn't hear that music on the radio. While Greg and I saw the need, we had to give Al proof which he could show his suits in Toronto. (BTW, CHUM ownership did not view their Windsor stations as "Detroit" stations; they were stations operating in a Windsor-sized market, with the according expectations and goals. As it turns out, those lower expectations probably helped us to sneak in under the radar.) So, Greg and I had to generate proof for Al and His Suits that there was an advertising market for the station. Enter Lem Payne. Lem Payne was a lifetime sales guy. I had met him when he sold my mom her Volvo 240 at Seymour Cadillac/Volvo downtown and he recognized my name from the MT column. Lem was a sweet, cool, awesome guy, and I miss him being around. Anyway, I remembered that he had mentioned a work history in media sales. So I called him and asked him if he had any ideas. After getting Lem and Greg together, I came up with the idea of creating non-binding "Letters of Intent" that potential advertisers could sign for us, and we could give to Al. I wrote them up, and Lem hit the bricks, and I think we got about 50 signed copies from agencies and creatives. Meanwhile, Greg and I were trying to convince Al that WXRT in Chicago was a valid market comparison; at that time, the only New Wave stations were (I think) 91X, XRT (which was/is more like ABX), WLIR in NYC, KROQ in LA and (maybe) WHFS in DC. We had to get past the pre-conceived notions that this would work only on the coasts, and that it wouldn't only be listened to by blue-mohawked skateboarders. Let's say this was late 1990/early l991. After back and forth, we pitched to Al a compromise: a nightly specialty show. Greg had a track record with "Dangerous Xposure" on ABX, so it was salable. We cut a share of the spots, got Greg a base salary, Lem got a sales gig, and I (employed elsewhere) stupidly didn't come along for the day-to-day ride. So, around Labor Day weekend, 1990, we launched the "The Cutting Edge" as a specialty show; I think it was 10p-2a. For credibility and name recognition, Greg did a nightly phoner with Halloran. I did pre-taped commentary and event listings ("Word of Mouth" and "What's Happening"), and cross--promoted them via my Metro Times connection. We created the purple and orange logo, and Lem, Greg and I kept the merch rights for our new company, The Rialto Group, Ltd., named for the Rialto Café where we'd meet, because its Ferndale location was centralized. I did the merch fulfillment in my basement in Royal Oak. Because of CRTC regs, Rialto, which I oversaw, had to basically act as a sales and operations sub-contractor for the US. Needless to say, it made a splash. The music was new, fresh, multi-racial (yes, we played Prince!), not just current hits (yes, we played the Kinks!), and local (yes, we played See Dick Run!). It was entrepreneurial, with Greg taking such a chance leaving Riff. It was exotic, the first cross-border cultural phenomenon of its type since CKLW. Because of the CRTC, there were all sorts of disclaimers involved in the advertising, especially with rock radio's life blood, beer, so it was noticeable. In short order, the show was expanded to (something like) 9p-3a, then 8p-2a, then 8p-6a, then, I think by 1991, it was 6p-6a. It was what we had planned as our Trojan Horse Plan: once we were in, it was going to be rough to kick us out, as both ratings and revenues were increasing. Also, we knew the other rock stations (WLLZ, Riff, who else then?) were so narrowly programmed that if they countered us, they'd alienate their core and lose them to the other rock stations. Among those there at the very start: Greg Gnyp and Dave Deroches came over as interns from CJAM. Kelly Brown came over as an intern straight from Specs, (I think) via Riff. When I tired of doing the "What's Happening" feature, I passed it on to Kelly, and am proud that that was her first on-air presence. The two-stations-in-one thing wasn't going to work, obviously, so the Trojan Horse finally opened up on the Friday before Memorial Day, 1991, when 88.7 became 89X. We re-did the logo with the tear in the middle, as "the cutting edge." We wanted the rectangle to be as recognizable as the Riff oval, and the chubbier oval that Halloran used at 91X, which they would then put band names on. The stunt was, I recall, 24 hours of "Stairway to Heaven." As it says elsewhere online, the first song was Jane's Addiction's "Stop." Also in that first set: "We Want the Airwaves," by the Ramones and "Radio Radio" by Elvis C. I have a cassette of the flip somewhere. From there, Greg became PD and did the morning show. Lem started selling. Scott Brown came over from Riff to do amazing guerilla promotions, along with ace sales guy Jim Edelman. Darren Revell continued doing a shift he'd gotten in the special show expansion, and also continued with the inherited Michelle Denomme. Greg adopted Vince Canova from Halloran's tutelage in San Diego. Greg found John O'Leary and brought him back for afternoon drive, to get that ABX heritage vibe. Caeri Bertrand got a shift. Gnyp and D-Man would do weekends and fill-ins. Paul Sevigny was a listener and computer guy who just called up one day, and ended up coming over to build awesome programs for programming and sales. I did phoners on the morning show and continued lawyering in another, unrelated job, and overseeing Rialto. In the second wave of evening show interns was Vertical, who Greg put on as his voice guy on the morning show after the full-time flip. Geez, Vert was straight out of Specs -- he did a great job in a hard gig, and is an awesome guy who's done well. There are so many little stories that don't fit chronologically, but which I love remembering: > My best memory is the first Lollapalooza in summer of 1991. Being sort of like the Kurt Loder of the station, I was all prepped to do the interviews. But O'Leary did the first one, with Living Color, who he asked, "So, doooods, this show was all your idea, right?" Oy. (No, that would be Perry Farrell.) So when John got up, I took his seat and stayed there, doing the rest of the remotes, including Trent Reznor and Ice-T. Those pics are in my office. An awesome, crystallizing day; I knew we were doing something that wasn't disappearing anytime soon. > Before launching the specialty show, we all raided our CD collections to build the library. We sat on the floor of the Cabana Road studio/chalet/dump Memorial Day weekend, and put stickers on the front to ID whose was whose, to get them back when the label service (hopefully) kicked in. "Hey, kids, let's put on a show radio station!" > Greg and I diagrammed the first clock in my kitchen in Royal Oak, on a speaker phone with Halloran. > The outstanding production we got from another Halloran protégé, Tattoo. "This is the Cutting Edge. Who the hell are you?" "What this town needs is an enema." The voice we used was an American living in London named Quasar, and the station still uses his "89X" in some of their positioners. > The three of us arguing over who would go onto the New Wave band list as the background for our first full page MT ad, "Take Back the Radio." I still have some of those posters. Ebay, anybody? > Me ghosting the "Top 10" lists copy for the MT ads, which were mostly occasionally funny. > Me going to the law library at the University of Windsor to give Pervin free legal advice on how to deal with the CRTC, before he approached The Suits in Toronto. > The first Detroit sales office was in my father-in-law's office -- he's an architect. So, my extended family made a few bucks, though the office activity was far more than he bargained for -- what was supposed to be just the sales office also became the prize pickup office, even when he was the only one there – Scott and Jim were out on the road. (His tolerance was awesome.) The US sales office remains in that building. > Seeing the first Cutting Edge sticker on a car, on Main St in RO, a few blocks from our house, and honking and waving at the guy, and feeling very proud. > My wife's favorite story is that one morning, I'm doing the phoner, our landline was out, and I was out in her car, with her big bag of primative cell phone, doing the call in my robe. So, after the flip, the new 89X went from an asterisk to a 2.2 in 18 months. Our TSL was 13 hours. Yes, 13 hours. For various reasons, the two-year consulting/sales agreement we signed wasn't renewed by Pervin, which is always a risk when consulting stations, which we basically were doing. "Thanks for showing us how, we'll take it from here." Also, egos, personalities, turf and money kicked in. I always thought Rialto could leverage 89X into a consultancy, to catch the next wave of New Wave flips that Jacobs hadn't yet caught. But Lem was content selling 89X, and Greg got involved with a group that bought the Edge in Lansing. Me, I have continued lawyering, wrote for MT until 1995, did some stuff with Channel 56, would love to do more on-air, and have some awesome stories. After we were relieved, 89X went adrift in so many ways. I felt like wolves had stolen my baby and raised it in the wild. Michelle Denomme became PD, which was I thought was brutal -- she was young, in over her head, but someone who had always been a loyal CHUM employee. They went Alt Chick, Alt Grunge, Alt Thrash, everything other than just being good music. Remember the Mike Harrison morning show? A great guy, but Detroiters like Detroiters on the air, not out of towners, and especially not from another continent. Wayne Stafford became GM after Pervin . . . yikes. They alienated their core so much that the Edge came to town -- remember them? Why Greater Media thought it was worth trying to either blow out 89X, or split their three or four shares, I never understood. The Edge bailed, and I'm gratified and proud that 89X is now a heritage station in the market. That only came into focus, though, IMHO, in the last 5 or so years, when, despite Murray, they started listening to their jocks and sales people -- all true believers in the music. I still consider everyone CHUM in Windsor and the Detroit friends, even if we rarely see each other. Eric Proksch was a sales guy when we first got there, and he was the first salesperson after Pervin who "got it." Eric is now GM of the Windsor group, which expanded to four stations. I only ever helped raise their ratings and make 'em gobs of money. I'd love to help them out again someday, on any of their stations, but who knows? I don't know why this has taken this long to write. I've feared that I'll forget something. Maybe because there might be disagreements about some factoid or an opinion of mine. Geez, I get enough of that lawyering in my day job, and from my kids. I have even been called out by people for telling this story, because the "Start of 89X" story they first heard from someone else didn't include my name, and they thought I was being a self-promoting hanger-on. I'm proud of my contributions to the 89X story, and am gratified that so many of you have fond memories of something that we all loved doing, some more than others, and some for longer than others. For me, though, it's an old radio story, and I need a new radio story. (Anybody need a talk show host? Or a lawyer, even?) This story and five bucks gets me a Venti Mocha, y'know? I, however, made some wonderful friends, many who I have to this day. I got to do things that a music-loving, lawyer by training really had no business doing in a Top Ten market, especially in such a DIY fashion. I'm proud that so many broadcasting, sales and ad careers were launched and/or boosted, and so many good memories were created, both behind the mic and in front of the radio speaker. I never got to be Fred Jacobs, Jr. or Larry King, Jr. (yet), but this was a great part of a life I would never trade with anybody. I honestly believe that none of the radio memories would have happened, nor many millions of dollars of sales generated, nor careers enhanced and salaries paid, without my contributions. Too, I love Detroit and its awesome broadcasting history, and I'm thrilled to be a footnote in it. You may find me on most social media as @LexKuhne, as well as at . >>>>>>>>> Finally, check out our one commercial from the beginning, which aired only once, on a weekday afternoon.

President Andrew Shepard is In The House

Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut, so I am digging that I predicted the Aaron Sorkin as Obama muse for his acceptance speech.

And a debate about Gramps' demeanor?

I think we know how that'll go.

It's Official: AP is in the Tank for McCain

Olbermann brought this delusional piece o' crap up on-air, but it has to be read to be (dis-)believed.

But, ummmm, it's been a trend for AP, and it's been noticed.

And then we re-visit reality with the grown-ups. Pat Buchanan even extended props on MSNBC.

But, really, Ron Fournier's hit job on the American institution that was AP appears complete. Guess he didn't really need to officially take the job with McCain McBush Gramps, since he's clearly acting as an unpaid(?) consultant.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Non Sequitur of the Day

"Your love is like a rollercoaster /
Baby, baby /
I wanna ride"

A Suggestion for Obama's Acceptance Speech

Amidst hypocritical wingnut carping about the set looking too Roman or Greek or whatever, I hope that elements of this scene make it into the speech.

Thank you, Aaron Sorkin. Add me on Facebook, why don'tcha?

Today's Obmemea(c): Change Me?

"If there was one thing you could change about me, what would it be?

If' it's something I have no control over, like my middle name, skin color, or what my minister said, or what my donors have done... why?

If my name were John Chrisitan Smith, would you vote for me?

If it's about a policy position, then let's talk.

I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message."

Michigan: the Upper Hand (as in surrender)

The Great Lakes State was the only state in the nation where poverty increased last year.


I, however, am refusing to throw in the towel.

Check out the MEDC, and our #1 homeboy, Jeff:

Kwame's Detroit: Life Imitates Game Show

Kwame Kilpatrick... Deal? Or (with lessening leverage to use) no deal?

Cheers to the Deal or No Deal Girls (really) fan site.

Dear Broadcast Media: Please no John Denver at the DNC

We're almost clear. But I swear, if I hear "Rocky Mountain High," even as a bumper, I'm shooting my TV.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Non Sequitur of the Day: #31

"Fade away /

An Officer and a Gentleman, My Ass

I recently mentioned Gramps referring to his wife as an __unt in public. Now, my friends, let us reflect upon his "you got an ugly kid, you lesbian" joke toward his good friend, Hillary Clinton.

Slate reflects.

As does Salon.

I imagine he worked on that one during his 5 1/2 years as a POW.

Elizabeth Edwards Criticized Over Affair..... Elizabeth? WTF?

Geez, isn't there a pass on a cancer patient's-second-degree-victimless crime schadenfreude? Especially after getting piled upon by Rielle Lisa Jo.

Man, she's scary. Please hold me.

Chris Matthews Out of Control

Mr. Hardball just snipped at Olbermann on-air, and repeated the same Casey-abortion-no '92 convention speech myth on MSNBC.

As an analyst, it's a disadvantage to keep getting the facts wrong.

Today's Mytholitics: Why the Convention Doesn't Really Matter

Those hand-wringing about last night not being tough enough, or not providing enough red meat to feed the MSM, or the Obama campaign not registering with blue-collar Democrats, rest easy. When your message is controlled by others, at least partially, and they can skew your message with bloviating talking heads, 'tis best to hold your powder.

Watch for an Obama ad blitz beginning next week. You can control the contents, and the quantity, especially when you possess so, so many more resources.

Hang on, Gramps. It begins, with "Seven":

Today's Obmemea (c): New v. Old

"The old way is not working any more.

Is it working for you?

I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message."

The Latest from the Fabulous J. Chris Newberg: Who Wants To Give Jennifer Aniston A Baby?

Ladies and gentlemen, the hilarious comedy stylings of Birmingham native Mr. J. Chris Newberg. Give him a hand...

Monday, August 25, 2008

One last Olympic Post

* Welcome, New York Times, to the realization that the hosts for the Beijing Olympics are bad guys. And after such lameness a mere two weeks prior, even after they'd been put on notice.

* Do you feel redeemed? I'm not even sure they played, their schedule being not very user friendly. But, really, three cheers for Coach K.

* London's stressing about four years from now, but considering how how this one was done, and the human costs, London should count on getting a pass, so long as there's lots more Leona Lewis.

* I miss Olympic fashion fads. Roots was so good at that, until we and the Canucks sold out. There was even open animus about the Canadian duds. Can't imagine why. Oh, ummm...never mind.

* Did you hear that a pop star friend of Justin Timberlake's was going to do color on gymnastics? She was going to use her first name for everyone, except for one American competitor. She said, "My name ain't baby, it's Janet, Miss Jackson, if you're Nastia."

Karma's a Bitch: Attack Ad Edition.

Dear Gramps Sen. McBush:

Get your jollies now, with the "Republicans think Hillary would have been a better choice" spots. (Why does anyone even ask a member of the opposing party what they think about the other side's personnel decisions? I'm sure they'd lurve Andy Dick as the Dems' convention MC, too.)

However, if Gramps' choice is the old Mitt-ster, behold the raw material for payback:

Dialogue, you two!

"Candidate of change?!?!?!"

Cool plane! Can I get a set of wings?!

Don't forget about "glass houses" and all, Gramps. Oh, wait, when you have so many of them, it must be easy.

Dear PUMAs: Please stop enjoying licking yourselves so much

To the PUMAs, the "ladies of a certain age" who are driving the "Party Unity My Ass" movement in Denver: do you realize what's at stake if you let your vanity undermine Obama and elect Gramps? No need for me to repeat Pandagon's nice take. But, please, do remember what McCain calls his wife in public.

Truly, how hardcore / "3 a.m.-ish" can you be when you can't even post the word "ass" -- which is part of your name -- on your website? "Oh, we're traitors to the greater cause, but we don't want to be vulgar or icky about it."

So, since you're apparently uncomfortable with your current name, may I suggest another acronym for PUMA? Since you probably got t-shirts and buttons printed up for Denver, how's about:

Politically Unbalanced Masochistic Also-rans ?

Voila'. You're welcome.

And be sure to try the Rocky Mountain Oysters while in Denver. I'm confident may of you are are familiar with their harvest. Cheers!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Today, Mr. Amberg would give Ron Fournier a "D"

Having gone to high school with AP's D.C. Chief Ron Fournier, and writing on the school paper with him, I'm disappointed in his "analysis" today of Obama tapping Biden for the Dem Veep slot. Critiquing Obama for shoring up "weakness" is "profound" and "negative?" I imagine Obama going with someone less experienced than Biden -- like Tim Kaine or Kathleen Sibelius -- would've brought up the arrogant and elitist charge, that he picked someone who wouldn't help him. Please.

So, as for his "analysis," who does Ron think Obama should have picked who would be better than Biden? He doesn't say, but perhaps because he was already hooking McCain up with donuts and turning down Gramps' sprinkle-covered job offers. In Mr. Amberg's Journalism class, a compromised, lame-ass analysis like this would get you a something in the D range. But in the real world, raging, undisclosed conflict of interest should get you expelled. Or promoted.

BTW, FYI: Our teacher and paper adviser, Mr. Amberg, is on the far left, Ron's in front on the very far right, and I'm in the middle in front of the window, wearing the suit, tie and fedora, rocking a "The Front Page" look. It seemed like a good idea at the time, y'know?

But in 2008, what's Ron's excuse?

Tonight's Red State Slumming



The Bristol Night Race.

Do do know what NASCAR stands for?

Non Athletic Sport Circling Around Rednecks.

Discuss and enjoy.

An' 'member: if ya ain't rubbin', ya ain't racin'.

Triple Play: Representing The D, a Gratuitious Binkini Post, and a TV Prediction

Behold Selma Blair -- Detroit native -- rocking a bikini, filming NBC's Americanized version of hit Australian sitcom, "Kath & Kim."

One, Selma's looking good.

Two, she's from The D. Represent.

Three, if the show doesn't hit here, it'll be because, with Molly Shannon as her mom, it'll seem like two slacker roomies - think, "The Hills" -- instead of a slacker mom and daughter forced to live together, like in the Aussie original. Seems this concern has been bouncing around for a while on at least three continents.

You're welcome, Ben Silverman.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Non Sequitur of the Day: #30

"I've been around the world a million times /
And all you men are slime."

Obmemea: Please Pick Joe Biden

If there is an MSM-generated conclusion that Obama is "dragging his feet" on his Veep choice, it's only because it's one of those MSM-generated expectations that isn't being fulfilled. (See the "Why won't Hillary just quit already?" saga.)

I personally hope it's Biden, because he'd be great on the campaign trail and in office. So what if he's a bit of a loose cannon? At least he'd be a vice-president doing it on via hyperbole, instead of with firearms or an army.

If it is Biden, I pray to God that Obama feels comfortable enough to introduce him as "bright and clean nice-looking." But if it isn't Biden, his vetting gives us one more chance to give him props for single-handedly crystallizing and torpedoing Rudy Giuliani's bogus victim-as-Presidential candidate hoo-ha: "There's only three things he mentions in a sentence -- a noun, a verb, and 9/11."

Whatever comes through my text tonight, thank you, Joe Biden.

Lions sign Drew Henson...

. . . to replace the injured Drew Stanton.

In a related story, the Lions are signing Antoine Joubert to return punts.

Mytholitics: McCain is a man of the people (An OT Post)

McCain not remembering -- or choosing not to be caught on -- how many homes he and his Sugar Daughter Trophy Wife own is fair game, because of the tactic that the Republicans have been playing for the last eight years, and which McCain has been using with his "Celebrity" ads. By claiming the single-parent, scholarship-educated, bi-racial lawyer from the South Side of Chicago is "elitist," Gramps implies, "Hey, White America, I'm more like you. I'm the guy you want to have a beer with." As if beer drinking is any type of qualification for Leader of the Free World.

(As for the picture, I think Cindy hurt her hand trying to beatSuzanne Whang into doing a Very Special "House Hunters" for her and Gramps, because they just can't stop buying real estate!!!) May I suggest a Realtor?

No, this isn't about anti-elitism and a multi-millionaire country club Republican trying to co-opt Joe Six Pack. It's actually anti-intellectualism, since when a minority can string together a coherent sentence, and makes his millions by actually writing one book and another (instead of letting his staff ghost it), it boils down to this: the family-connected, bottom-of-the-class, rule-breaking Midshipman Fly Boy making fun of the Egghead Brainiac, regardless of the hypocrisy practiced in judging their paths to this point in time. If anybody epitomizes the America Dream, it's Obama, creating money literally out of thin air, by crafting sentiments from his own brain people want to read and committing them to paper.

So, Obama better be afraid, because "the gloves are off," eh? Well, maybe so...if McCain can remember at which house he last wore them. So, to help, here's a travelogue of les chez McCain. Cheers to the Jed Report.

Today's Fun on The Internets: Fox Puck on ebay

Not that I'm bidding at the moment -- for obvious reasons -- but behold the Holy Grail for us hockey puck collectors.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Today's Fun on the Interets: Olympic Fever

If you're missing A2's own Michael Phelps, you can perk up your Olympic interest and your computing life with some pro-Communist Olympic propaganda fun Beijing-themed screensavers and wallpapers. Pretty sure there's no malware, but if you're the careful type, be sure to upgrade the antivirus.

Non Sequitur of the Day: #29

Dedicated to the Mayor of Detroit, as he drags us all into the abyss into which he stares:

"And as I walked on /
Through troubled times /
My spirit gets so downhearted sometimes /
So where are the strong /
And who are the trusted? /
And where is the harmony?"

Saturday, August 9, 2008

A Change Election Demands a Changing Vocabulary, Part II (or Today's Obmemea)

"Mytholotics" (noun) -- Fictitious story or stories supporting a misleading opinion held in support of a political candidate or position; the process of doing same. [Copyright 2008]

Synonym: John W. McBush

Antonym: Barack Obama

Non Sequitur of the Day: #28

"It's important to me /
That you know you are free /
'Cause I never want to make you change for me"

Friday, August 8, 2008

My mini-primer on the Beijing Olympics (an OT post)

I began loving the Olympics as a kid, before they became just another reality show. I remember watching the 1968 Mexico City Olympics in my family room with a super bad cold, and was lucky to have my parents take me to the 1976 Montreal Olympics, with "Silly Love Songs" seemingly omnipresent on the radio.

That being said, a few thoughts on these Beijing games:

* For the moral compromises the IOC made to its "ideals" in order to cash China's humongous check, it reminds me of the old saying: "Now that we know what you are, we just need to set the price."

* Check out some Team Handball late at night on CNBC or MSNBC, or online, Univision, or for those of us on the border, CBC. It's the coolest sport you've never heard of.

* I lurve me some Andres Cantor "goooooooaaaaallll" soccer calls. If you can get past the fugly U.S. soccer unis, enjoy:

* Channel 4 did a piece the other night on one of my favorite pieces of local sports trivia: Detroit was the runner-up to host the '68 Summer Olympics. (If anyone has the video, please send me a link?) In the meantime, check out this fascinating bid film the city put together, back when we were part of the First World, and had some civic hope.

* Finally, the sport that makes the Summer Olympics all worthwhile:



Our, ummmm, man? In China?

"I'm getting a 'lil hungry, girls. You know where I kin find this General Tsao guy? Is he sorta like Colonel Sanders?"

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Kwame's in The Can!

... for parole violation.


You're a lawyer, dude. How do you play Chicken with a judge on YOUR OWN BAIL?!

Geez, he should be blown out of office if only for being such a dumb-ass, especially after dodging the same bullet not two weeks ago.

BTW, for the record, Hizzoner's tentative Prison Bitch Name is "Nut Buster."

And, even thought I don't know these guys, you gotta check out It's hilarious. Tell 'em I sent ya.

Today's Obmemea: Why New Oil Drilling is Bogus

Do you think that the oil companies, currently making historically obscene profits, will spend any of that money to drill for more oil in more places more quickly, so as to lower our prices and their profits? Which would, in turn, more quickly deplete the finite amount of oil the oil companies need to exploit to survive? Do you think the oil companies, if they could make it work for themselves, are not drilling the offshore leases they already have just because they're lazy?

Of course not.

That's why John W. McBush is conning you.

Thank God Favre's Whining is Over (for now)

Our long national nightmare is over. Hallelujah.

But why all the fuss over a one-time Super Bowl champ? Yes, that's one more than I've won, but it ranks Favre up there with the legendary likes of Brad Johnson and Mark Rypien. If it truly comes down to rings, Favre is only slightly better than Barry Sanders: amazing individual stats, but to what end?

As for why the Packers let him go? Well, in the playoffs, the chances of Favre running the NFC playoff table without at least one game on the Frozen Tundra are remote. And, really, after a 16 game season and two or three playoff games, can a guy pushing 40 succeed in a night game(!) in Green Bay weather -- -2 and -24 wind chill last January? From the most recent looks of it, no.

Why McCain groups Barack with Paris and Britney

It's so obvious, I'm surprised that no one mentioned it, but for the MSM sturm und drang about how his ads have cheapened The Process. (Dear MSM, you might want to think again; check out #8)

John McCain is so old out-of-touch that, from his perspective, Obama is as young and irresponsible as those two ladies young women.

Only in American politics is a 47-year-old U.S. Senator and father of two a "young man." As Leiberman no doubt says all the time in his one-man caucus, "Oy vey."

In the meantime, thank you Funny or Die, for arranging the rebuttal.

"See you at the debates, bitches," indeed.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Non Sequitur of the Day: #27

"So if you love me /
Why'd you let me go?"

A Change Election demands a changing vocabulary, Part I

Driving around a few days ago, I came up with a stray random thought (as I am wont to do). For the purposes of copyright and the (hopefully) inevitable marketing blitz which occasionally comes off a newly-coined word or phrase, please consider this the date of publication.

As always, your thoughts are welcome.

"Obmemea" (pronounced "Ohb-meem-ah")(noun) -- A unit of cultural or political information in support of the presidential candidacy of Barack Obama, such as a political idea, proposal, policy or practice, that is transmitted verbally or by repeated action from one mind to another.