Tom Cruise: "What's 'Brazilian Whacks' Mean Again?"

Luckily, the recent increase in the use of the word "tool" as a pejorative has occurred just in time for Tom Cruise's latest mis-adventure, implying that Brazilians speak Spanish.

It's arguably the worst American-Brazilian imbroglio since the W "Brazilian soldiers" joke.

Brett Favre Got Paid a Lot to Buy That Last Clue

So, Brett Favre finally hangs 'em up? I doubt anyone would buy another emotional press conference with crocodile tears.

While he was talented and charismatic, his one Super Bowl somehow doesn't match up with his idolatry to some.

Which I noted a long time ago. In blog years, at least.

^= "When I said I'd play one more year for the green, I meant the money."

No "Bar" Puns Here, Just a Gratuitous Bikini Pic

I imagine that, all across America this week (with perhaps a red state-ish bias), new mommies named Elle are pondering -- and being lobbied by their mothers named Farrah -- to name their new baby girls Bar.

<= "What a happy coincidence! Did you know I used be called Barry, just like the President?"

(Cracked) Ice Fishing to Oblivion

If you fish or hunt, I imagine you're into the whole "circle of life" thing. Kill or be killed, it's human nature to hunt, survival of the fittest, blah blah blah.

So when fishermen walk over ice on Lake Erie (or any other lake) to ice fish, they're embracing the destiny of nature: if a fish is stupid enough to bite their lure, then the fish dies. However, I also suggest that if a fisherman is stupid enough to go out onto cracked and melting ice which then breaks off and floats into the lake, he or she embrace the circle of life and get thee to swimming, instead of wimping out and hitching a ride on a Coast Guard helicopter.

And that they should then be tethered to keep them from doing it again the next day!

I imagine many of these hearty, go-it-alone, independent fisherman disdain any kind of government aid for what they would deem "stupid" behavior -- being on welfare or food stamps, needing drug rehab, or any other touchy-feely bleeding heart stuff. Sporting a parka, beard and fishing rod doesn't make them any less welfare cases.

So, let 'em float, I say. Depending on your perspective, it'd be either God's will or Darwinism.

"The Sopranos" Without the Swearing is Like Sauce Without Oregano

Cheers to the clearly very dedicated Victor Solomon for editing together every curse word over the entire Sopranos series.

It's 27 minutes (!), and definitely NSFW.



the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

Plug of the Day: J. Chris Newberg's Comedic Stylings Edition

In a down economy, we all have to cut back on extravagances, especially the hot girlfriend.

Not me, I mean. My buddy, Chris; check it out:

Slacker Friday Cover of the Week: Springsteen at the Super Bowl Edition

Poster folkies for the concept of twee, yet well-played, ladies and gentlemen, Tegan and Sara covering "Dancing in the Dark":

For Us Rust Belters, D.C. Residents Not Handling Snow Is A Metaphor.

When the President mentioned his incredulity at a snow day in D.C. which wouldn't even be a second thought back home in Chicago or any other Midwestern city, he was speaking as the new out-of-town hire trying to process his new home's culture out loud with his co-workers. Of course, as Leader of the Free World and many media recording it, word gets around.

Which leads to one WaPo columnist whining about how they're not used to Winter driving in D.C. (BTW, nice fedora dude; very "The Front Page.")

And another relating on how an administrator at the Obama girls' school mouthed back at the president for denying the children of D.C. a snow day, with a bonus snarky comment about his schooling in Hawaii.

See, what they don't understand in D.C. is this: just as many Washingtonians and Southerners used the Detroit automakers' financial problems as a springboard to any number of unrelated smears (union workers are spoiled, car companies are stupid, the Midwest is antiquated and should be abandoned, blahblahblah), we Midwesteners look at a seemingly groundless snow day -- so the kids can stay home with the nanny, instead of parents scrambling to figure out who's going to watch them for the day -- as an indicia of Washingtonian out-of-touch-ness with the world -- which does exist -- outside the Beltway.

Let recall that John Kennedy once said, "Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm."

Non Sequitur of the Day: New Romantic BritPop Edition

"Your reason for living's / Your reason for leaving / Don't ask me what it means."

Non Sequitur of the Day: Swedish Dance Pop Edition

"My style is di bom digi bom di deng di deng digigi uu uuu … /

Carubuano peer with di bom digi bom di deng di deng digigi uu uuu."