Non Sequitur of Valentine's Day: Slave to Love

"We´re too young to reason /

Too grown up to dream."

Kwame Kilpatrick, Public Enemy Has Some Lyrics For You

I was not surprised when Kwame Kilpatrick:

• First ran for Mayor of Detroit, because was going to be term-limited, and in an odd year, his mother's campaign structure had nothing else to do;
• Was first elected, because America's First Hip-Hop Mayor was too irresistible for the voters to pass up;
• Was re-elected in 2005, because he was running a different race -- yes, that has multiple meanings -- than Freeman Hendrix;
• Was finally caught, because he'd believed his own hype;
• Initially denied everything, because he still believed his own hype;
• Still considered himself a victim, because narcissists do that;
• Complained about his jail time, because of all the above;
• And, finally, scored a sweet gig, regardless of his boss' supposed short leash (which all 2009 wage slaves have) because money and politics make the world go 'round.

As I like to say, know that we know what the players in that hiring are, it's just that the price as finally been set.

The one thing I was surprised by: how did he do all that texting with those big, beefy ex-lineman fingers.

Remarkable. All of it.

Slacker Friday Cover of the Week: Day Before Valentine's Edition

The man who I want to be when I grow up, the uber-suave Bryan Ferry and Roxy Music, covering John Lennon:



And, just for fun, from 1985(!) at Live Aid:

Non Sequitur of the Day: TARP-ish Tuneage Edition

"Despite all my rage /

I am still just a rat in a cage."

Tom Cruise: "What's 'Brazilian Whacks' Mean Again?"

Luckily, the recent increase in the use of the word "tool" as a pejorative has occurred just in time for Tom Cruise's latest mis-adventure, implying that Brazilians speak Spanish.

It's arguably the worst American-Brazilian imbroglio since the W "Brazilian soldiers" joke.

Brett Favre Got Paid a Lot to Buy That Last Clue

So, Brett Favre finally hangs 'em up? I doubt anyone would buy another emotional press conference with crocodile tears.

While he was talented and charismatic, his one Super Bowl somehow doesn't match up with his idolatry to some.

Which I noted a long time ago. In blog years, at least.

^= "When I said I'd play one more year for the green, I meant the money."

No "Bar" Puns Here, Just a Gratuitous Bikini Pic

I imagine that, all across America this week (with perhaps a red state-ish bias), new mommies named Elle are pondering -- and being lobbied by their mothers named Farrah -- to name their new baby girls Bar.

<= "What a happy coincidence! Did you know I used be called Barry, just like the President?"

(Cracked) Ice Fishing to Oblivion

If you fish or hunt, I imagine you're into the whole "circle of life" thing. Kill or be killed, it's human nature to hunt, survival of the fittest, blah blah blah.

So when fishermen walk over ice on Lake Erie (or any other lake) to ice fish, they're embracing the destiny of nature: if a fish is stupid enough to bite their lure, then the fish dies. However, I also suggest that if a fisherman is stupid enough to go out onto cracked and melting ice which then breaks off and floats into the lake, he or she embrace the circle of life and get thee to swimming, instead of wimping out and hitching a ride on a Coast Guard helicopter.

And that they should then be tethered to keep them from doing it again the next day!

I imagine many of these hearty, go-it-alone, independent fisherman disdain any kind of government aid for what they would deem "stupid" behavior -- being on welfare or food stamps, needing drug rehab, or any other touchy-feely bleeding heart stuff. Sporting a parka, beard and fishing rod doesn't make them any less welfare cases.

So, let 'em float, I say. Depending on your perspective, it'd be either God's will or Darwinism.

"The Sopranos" Without the Swearing is Like Sauce Without Oregano

Cheers to the clearly very dedicated Victor Solomon for editing together every curse word over the entire Sopranos series.

It's 27 minutes (!), and definitely NSFW.



the sopranos, uncensored. from victor solomon on Vimeo.

Plug of the Day: J. Chris Newberg's Comedic Stylings Edition

In a down economy, we all have to cut back on extravagances, especially the hot girlfriend.

Not me, I mean. My buddy, Chris; check it out: