If Gene Simmons Wouldn't Vote for Adam Lambert, Would David Bowie?

As the debate over whether Kris Allen should've beaten Adam Lambert in the American Idol finale sputters to an end, I don't know which is sadder funnier: the revelation that Arkansans may have stuffed the ballot box to keep America safe from post-ironic, re-fried Ziggy Stardust moves (not that there's anything wrong with that), or that, according to the NYT, "[i]n Arkansas, [Idol sponsor AT&T reps] were invited to attend the local watch parties organized by the community. A few local employees brought a small number of demo phones with them and provided texting tutorials to those who were interested.”

Which means that those Arkansas residents had to be shown how to text.

Oy. Ahh-hahahahahahahahaha.

My salvation from that show? My ability to gratuitously re-post the Kara DioGuardi / Bikini Girl duet: