My synopsis of Sen. McCain's speech:
"My friends, President Bush horribly screwed me and my family in 2000, then I was a 'maverick' by hating and occasionally opposing him. Then I (literally) embraced him and his policies in order to get the nomination of his and my Republican party. Now, my friends, I'm not even mentioning him in this speech and am pretending he has nothing to do with me and the party. If I'm president, my friends, I'm going to
"Did I mention I was a P.O.W.?"
"I'm John McCain. America's Mulligan."